Create Your Future from your Future.
Not your Past.
In my work at a transformational coach, I talk with people every week who are trying to shift their life into a more positive, uplifting one. In the midst of talking about the changes they want, they can usually articulate what they want to create. However, really quickly they tend to revert back to the way things have always been and they have a hard time moving forward into a life they deeply want.
In my life, this was a reoccurring theme before I learned new tools for making massive shifts. Once I implemented these tools amazing things began to happen.
My Limiting Beliefs around Money
For the most part, my growing up years were in a family that felt loving and provided for my needs. I have two loving parents that have been part of my life to this day. I have siblings that I adore and am thankful for. Even though my parents made enough money, there was always a message and feeling that there wasn’t enough to go around. My mom was known to say often, “someone needs to invent something so we can be rich.” It felt like the message was, “we are not rich, in fact, money is scarce.” I remember this general theme always being there. When I was 16 and got my first job I would put money away into my savings account each week so I wouldn’t run out of money and so I would have some when I got to college. But when college came, I had a very little amount saved, which I spent the first day on books for my classes. My parents did what they could with taking a small loan out and paying for my portion of rent so I could attend college, along with me working anywhere from 3 to 4 jobs at a time. At the start of my second year of school, I got a notice from the financial aid office that I was gravely short of funds and went to that office to talk to them. The man said I would need to quit school because it was for “people who could afford it.” I left that office crying and was walking through the student center when I passed the Dean of Students who was standing outside his office while the busy time of students walking by was taking place. He stopped me and said, “hey, a crying student is not good for our school!” and took me into his office. I told him I didn’t have more money but really wanted to stay in school. He was able to help me with a work/study job and a grant for the school which helped a lot. I then went and got another job waitressing so I could make more money per shift than what I was making in a retail store. I was able to piece together one semester at a time but always had this saying in my head that was “money is scarce.”
I got married right out of college and my husband and I kept that money mantra going for the next 20 years. Money was always scarce. We never seemed to have enough to get us through to the end of the month. I tried many different ways to stretch a dollar using cloth diapers, garage sale clothes, home cooked meals. And no matter how much we made, we always had this “money is scarce” mentality. Time and time again we would sit down to pay bills and the energy around that meeting was always stressed. There wasn’t enough again. We were using our home as a credit card. Refinancing it every few years to cover the ever growing line of credit. We would say we only had a mortgage, no other debt. But the truth was, our house was worth a lot of money because we had put so much sweat equity into it. We were able to buy new cars, finish parts of the house, go on vacations, etc. because we would use a home equity line of credit and then roll that into another, bigger mortgage.
We spent the last few years of our 21 year marriage seeking counseling and church programs to help couples. In the end we were unable to figure out our lack of communication issues. I remember sitting on our front porch late one summer night talking about our budget again. The conversation was filled with stressful emotion, as usual. I had recently told him I wanted a divorce and we needed to discuss finances once again. We had made the decision that we would move forward in life without financial support between us, other than splitting kids expenses. As he got up from the table and walked inside, I had this familiar feeling that, once again, money was scarce. Then it hit me. I was going to be a single mom with 4 kids, one in college and two in late high school who owned a business that had never made me much money. I realized that if I continued to have the mantra that money was scarce I was going to be in big trouble.
I was just beginning to do more work in transformational training.
I was becoming very well versed in how affirmations work. What you say inside your head absolutely changes your experience in life. If your energy is positive, you will have positive results. If your energy is negative, you will have negative results. Up until now I was putting fearful energy around money and finances. I was giving myself a daily dose of negativity and a feeling of lack. I did not want to build a new phase of my life and drag this old opinion of money with me. I wanted something different.
As I sat there, in the hot, humid night, listening to the crickets in the pond near me. I decided that I was going to focus on how money came to me so easily. That was my new mantra. I created it at a moment I didn’t have much at all. But I wanted to change that. So, as I sat there, I said outloud, “Money comes to me so easily.” And then I said it again and again. At this point this sentence didn’t feel accurate at all. My brain programming said the complete opposite of this! But I wanted to change that. Whenever I felt fear around it, I said it again. I probably got in the habit of saying it 60 times a day. If I saw a penny on the ground while out walking or running, I would stop and pick it up and say “money comes to me so easily.”
I noticed that within a few weeks, my feelings were shifting. The fear wasn’t showing up. I was spending time thinking how I could make more money in my business. I said it over and over so many times I didn’t even have to think about saying it, it had become automatic. My brain was just clicking naturally into saying it.
“Money comes to me so easily”
Within the next 6 months, I noticed that I was getting really creative with making more money. A program that I had been kicking around in my brain for a long time was forming into a concrete idea in my head. Then I scheduled it to be offered at my studio. I kept saying my mantra many times a day, feeling better and better about money.
When I was doing my taxes the next year I was astounded. I had made 5 times more money in that year since changing my mantra than I had ever made in my entire life. In the year I got divorced, when I could have easily curled up in a ball in fear, I changed how I thought about money in a positive and life-changing way. I was able to buy a little house all on my own, I purchased a new truck and paid it off in just months. I was able to pay my portion of my kids college tuition. I was tracking where it was coming from and where it was going. My new mantra dramatically changed the relationship I had with it. I respected money for the first time in my life.
To this day, I still naturally say my mantra whenever a money thought comes into my head. I no longer feel scared or have a sense of lack around finances. I know exactly where I am financially, something I didn’t do before because of the fear of knowing the whole picture.
Affirmations and visualizations are the most powerful tool we have to create the life we want. My mentor, Jack Canfield, someone who I have had the pleasure of training under for the past three years, teaches that concept. I believe it so deeply.
Whenever I have a feeling that is not helping me, I have the opportunity to change it into something that works better for me.
Whether your struggle is financial, with body image, with relationships, or your career, you can change it. Begin with what your incredibly powerful mind thinks. The acronym TFAR has helped many of my clients make amazing changes in their life.
When you start by changing your Thoughts (T), you change your Feelings(F), which changes your Actions(A) which changes your Results(R).
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Remember, change your habits to change your life!
Amy Machacek Shonka
Creator, LIFEREVAMP, Inc.